Leaving For College Gifts

'Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! It's time for me to go out into the big wide world!'

"Oh George. My heart."

'OK, so your brother's first flight was far from being a success, but have a go son!'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Trust

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

'I'm trying to get my competence and my confidence in the same place.'

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

"You have to admire him - at least he gave it a go!"

'What did you learn at university today?'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'