Leaving College Gifts

'Mom, Dad, I've decided to skip my senior year of college and jump directly into chronic unemployment.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

Business Admin - Group Think 101.

All Hail the Matriarchy

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

End of Affirmative Action

University Book Store.

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"