Moving Away For College Gifts

Swiss army knife with little swiss army knife attachment.

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

Vaccination Passport

Airport

Technological Dependence.

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

The Airport.

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

Annual 'See You In The Spring' Hibernation Party.

'I'm trying to get my competence and my confidence in the same place.'

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

'HA! This time, I thought of my passport! It's right here, in my jackets' inside-pocket!'

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

Arrivals, departures & limbo.

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

I knew our son was meant to go places.

"You do not have a QR-Code."

"Can you folks handle firearms?"

"Our immigration lawyer is now living in Guatemala."

"That was my kind of party...good food, good people, good-bye."

On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: the constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends Undergarments.

"Honey, is the car filled up? My project here is finished and after my lunch I'm taking a new job in South America."

Leaving New York

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

'What did you learn at university today?'

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"