Moving To College Gifts

"Six months from now, some Harvard guy will be standing here looking out this window."

Dirty Living Situation

'Yes, I know it's a classic 1940 half ton, daddy - but it's also a use it to move my daughter into her dorm room classic.'

'Plates? Dude, are you turning metrosexual on me ?'

'You told me to put away the groceries.'

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'

'What did you learn at university today?'

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"One year closer to college!"

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"