Going To College Gifts

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"My first choice college should have lots of closet space."

College: 'We do not discriminate on the basis of race, age, sex, or religion. Students must simply be able to afford $20,000 tuition per year.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'I thought I'd have one more look at the old room before I leave for college.'

"I miss my mom's home-cooked methamphetamine."

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

"Whoever guesses which cup the college tuition is under, gets it."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Trust

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"I installed Skype, so it'll be just like you never went away to college."

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

'Granted, it's not a traditional sport, but I was hoping a party school might offer athletic scholarships for beer pong.'

Safe on campus.

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"I told you Bill carried too much stuff in his backpack!"

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"Look, honey, we've already got five inquiries about renting Janie's room!"

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'Honey it's time to let go and cut the cord. He's a man now! He's going to college for goodness sake!'

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

'I plan to major in political science with a minor in strange bedfellows,'

'My mom said someday I'll grow up and go to college!' 'My mom can burp the alphabet. She learned how in college!'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Yep...we were going to enroll him in community college...the car was cheaper."

"Retire! What if I want to go to College...?"

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

Institution of $20,000 plus Tuition Per year Learning

'Son, this college is known as nothing but a big party school. Good choice!'

'Thanks, Dad. But I learned to ride that fifteen years ago while you were watching golf. I'm leaving now for college.'