Attending College Gifts

'Dad, I don't qualify for financial aid, but the dean offered to find you a second job!'

'Nice try with the scraggly outfits. However, I saw you pull up in the 2007 Mercedes CL 550'

"Why can't you give me a student loan? I'm a student."

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"One year closer to college!"

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'