Getting Into College Gifts

"One year closer to college!"

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Bribes for Jabs

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"