Applying To College Gifts

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Writing about your community service is good, but I would play down the court-ordered part."

'We'll have to take this one - he invented the software we're using to make the selection.'

'I'm getting ready to apply to colleges. Do you have a list of party schools?'

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

"Mr. Amin, I want to thank you for being my teacher."

'I flunked my driving exam. How am I going to get into Harvard now?'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'Do you offer a degree in punditry?'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Your sat scores were low, but the good news is your credit score is over 800."

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"One year closer to college!"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Fishbowl rebellion.

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."