Going To College Mugs

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"My first choice college should have lots of closet space."

College: 'We do not discriminate on the basis of race, age, sex, or religion. Students must simply be able to afford $20,000 tuition per year.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'I thought I'd have one more look at the old room before I leave for college.'

"I miss my mom's home-cooked methamphetamine."

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

"Whoever guesses which cup the college tuition is under, gets it."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Trust

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"I installed Skype, so it'll be just like you never went away to college."

Safe on campus.

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

"I told you Bill carried too much stuff in his backpack!"

"Look, honey, we've already got five inquiries about renting Janie's room!"

'Granted, it's not a traditional sport, but I was hoping a party school might offer athletic scholarships for beer pong.'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'I plan to major in political science with a minor in strange bedfellows,'

"Yep...we were going to enroll him in community college...the car was cheaper."

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

"Retire! What if I want to go to College...?"

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

'My mom said someday I'll grow up and go to college!' 'My mom can burp the alphabet. She learned how in college!'

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

'Honey it's time to let go and cut the cord. He's a man now! He's going to college for goodness sake!'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'Thanks, Dad. But I learned to ride that fifteen years ago while you were watching golf. I'm leaving now for college.'

Boomerangs Arguing

Learning.