It Newbie Gifts

Computer books for dummies.

Good Luck!

Batman's Baby

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

'I didn't know ostriches could swim.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

Bubbie Selfies

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Please seat to be weighted.

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

'I'd join Twitter, but I'm worried I'll make a hash of it.'

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

'That's way too irregular. I recommend regular exercise.'

"Yes! I'm THE Britney Spears... I was named 'Britney Spears' first so that makes me THE the."

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

Fisherman's new baby.

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"Your fingers are the only part of you that's in shape. Apparently, the only exercise you get is texting."

By the time I figured out how to read her e-book, she was asleep.

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

"Please—no technology questions!"

'I can't believe it... no subway, no taxis, no fast food spots, no busses within a radius of 400 meters... my gosh! I've never made such an intensive nature experience!'