Newbie Gifts

'Wait for me right here.'

Good Luck!

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

Batman's Baby

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

Please seat to be weighted.

Computer books for dummies.

Bubbie Selfies

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

Health Club Shop. DVD. Books. Do you have a simple guide to better abs? "Tummies for Dummies" would be good for you.

Welcome to our team.

By the time I figured out how to read her e-book, she was asleep.

'That's way too irregular. I recommend regular exercise.'

"Your fingers are the only part of you that's in shape. Apparently, the only exercise you get is texting."

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

Fisherman's new baby.

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'Your first trial?'

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

"Please—no technology questions!"

Social Media Explained By Ginny Root 3rd Grade.

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'

"Not discovered the 'Delete' key yet Edith?"

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."

"I can't believe I'm in college. I never even found Waldo yet."

Video Chat with Dad from his new smart phone.