Newbie Runner Gifts

"Before you run a marathon maybe you should start with 50 yards?" Set acheivable targets.

Good Luck!

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

Olympics create interest in curling.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Please seat to be weighted.

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"At least you made it into the hallway."

Computer books for dummies.

"Your fingers are the only part of you that's in shape. Apparently, the only exercise you get is texting."

'That's way too irregular. I recommend regular exercise.'

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

Welcome to our team.

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."

"I'm really serious about exercising. Last year I only went to the gym twice, once to join and once to renew."

'Your first lesson is free.'

'Am I going too fast for you?'

'Touch my toes? I can't even see my toes!'

'I think I'll take up bowling instead.'

"You may well have been here first but it doesn't work like that."

Walk right in. Sit right down.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're finally using that tread mill!"

"Last year, you said you were signing up to a gym...it it nice?"

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

Bravado in the novice professor may simply be an attempt to compensate for a lack of experience in teaching the classics.

'Of course you can move back in with us, Son... but after only one day?'