Newbie Academic Gifts

Bravado in the novice professor may simply be an attempt to compensate for a lack of experience in teaching the classics.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Pretty Flowers

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Eternal Student.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Meet the scribe"

"Is it that bad?"

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

Punctuation Police

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.