Academic Nerd Gifts

'Medea' Studies

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

Ascent of Machine.

Scarcity

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Vaccine

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"Nasty sunburn."

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

Charles Darwin

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

Nervous Student

Max Weber

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

'It's not the global warming it's the humidity.'

"My first Father's day!"

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Scientist in the department of energy: 'So far, so good, sir - we've learned how to make garbage out of oil.'

'Is it ‘there's method to my madness' or ‘there's madness to my method?' I always confuse the two.'

"Caution: this drug cases dizziness in mice, gastrointestinal problems in rabbits, headaches in chickens, photo-sensitivity in monkeys, drowsiness in hamsters..."

'I'm a lawyer and I would prefer that you operate within the law of gravity.'