Academic Nerd Gifts

'Medea' Studies

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

Ascent of Machine.

Scarcity

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Vaccine

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

Charles Darwin

"Nasty sunburn."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

Max Weber

Nervous Student

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'

'It's not the global warming it's the humidity.'

"My first Father's day!"

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Scientist in the department of energy: 'So far, so good, sir - we've learned how to make garbage out of oil.'

'I'm a lawyer and I would prefer that you operate within the law of gravity.'

"Caution: this drug cases dizziness in mice, gastrointestinal problems in rabbits, headaches in chickens, photo-sensitivity in monkeys, drowsiness in hamsters..."