Technology Newbie Gifts

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"I thought a wheel was a wheel."

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

'I hear that earthlings have finished their space shuttle program. I hope they don't make it here. It would destroy proprty values.'

Bubbie Selfies

Computer books for dummies.

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

'I'd join Twitter, but I'm worried I'll make a hash of it.'

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

20,000 Leagues under the sea.

By the time I figured out how to read her e-book, she was asleep.

The Evolution of the Hat

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

"Please—no technology questions!"

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"They say registering online should take ten minutes to two days, depending on my computer skills."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just download them?"

"Not discovered the 'Delete' key yet Edith?"

Video Chat with Dad from his new smart phone.

"Well, if you'd married a dentist like I wanted, maybe HE could explain Bluetooth to me!"

Social Media Explained By Ginny Root 3rd Grade.

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'

"It goes on to say 'We use petroleum to light our laps, and to heat our food, but we can't seem to come up with an internal combustion engine'."