Beginning College Gifts

'Speed reading course 7.00 to 7.05.'

some students may be unused to an early start...

Business 101

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Culture Saturday

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Boy and girl at thier studies

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)