University Freshman Gifts

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"My homework ate my dog."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

His Master's Thesis.

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Pesky students.

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

Day one, post grad

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

As a matter of fact, it IS rocket science.

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

'...Or not.'

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'Cat Lit. You?'

Student Debt

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'I know he'll solve it--he even understands German wine labels.'

VALENTINES: Stuck Like Glue

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'