University Freshman Pillows

What will be the worst part about your first semester of college being online classes only? My little brother will be my freshman year roommate!

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"My homework ate my dog."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

His Master's Thesis.

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Pesky students.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Day one, post grad

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

As a matter of fact, it IS rocket science.

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

'...Or not.'

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

Student Debt

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

'Cat Lit. You?'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'I know he'll solve it--he even understands German wine labels.'

Canine Grammar. Getting a Master's. Shelter Adoptions. Getting masters.

VALENTINES: Stuck Like Glue

"That's in case Mum skypes me."