University Student Pillows

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

'I love our lunches out here, but I always get the feeling that we're being watched.'

As a matter of fact, it IS rocket science.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

'Oh him? That's Frank. My parents made me take in a boarder to cover the cost of my car insurance.'

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'But I only came to Oxford because I heard I could wear a gown!'

"I need money to finance my studies in criminal psychology with a focus on antisocial behavior."

'Postgrad Pat.'

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

"This sounds impressive. I've been accepted by a prestigious research university."

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'I know he'll solve it--he even understands German wine labels.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Virtual classes have some definite advantages."

'...And Harriet Brownley gets the commendation 'Most Googled'.'

His Master's Thesis.

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

'Well, Gosh...! How did you know I was an incoming freshman...?'

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

"My homework ate my dog."

Pompous young oxford man asking someone whether he was 'at either university'

"I'm learning to read too."

'...Or not.'

'I plan to major in political science with a minor in strange bedfellows,'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'Into each life, a certain amount of analytical incongruity must fall.'

'The students must be back then.'

VALENTINES: Stuck Like Glue

Tunnel of I Like You but I'm just really busy right now with grad school and stuff.

"I'm in a molting period. I'm shedding all of my French philosophers."

"I didn't have rich parents to bribe my way into college, I had to take out student loans for that. . ."