Future Undergrads Gifts

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!"

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

Good Luck with your finals.

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

Parental Role Model

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."

"I'm going to be a lawyer so I'll be arguing both sides."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'