Future College Grad Gifts

"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Business Admin - Group Think 101.

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."