College Football Die-hard Gifts

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Goal!"

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Cheerleaders

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

Coach Prime Cleans House

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Tax What?!

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

'Coach - do you know the definition for 'losing coach''

Nebraska Fans

'I didn't know trampling was a foul.'

'Sorry Alf...the telly is bust.'

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

'No, I don't want to hear about it. I do not want to hear about it.'

"Sorry, Kevin, but 'March Madness' is not an official school holiday."

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

'Breaker' the mascot disappears from area college.

Forever Football Fan

"Your depression isn't caused by anything physical. I suggest you root for another pro sports team."

Nebraska-Oklahoma

University of Nebraska sold out for 375 games in a row but now is in danger of ending that due to poor performance.

The home crowd liked to honor the team whenever they scored a point.

'It's our college team's nickname.'