College Football Enthusiast Gifts

Ohio State End of Cursive Writing

Major US universities, public view: ATHLETICS...everything else.

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Cheerleaders

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

Our coaches are from top college teams. Questions. Why aren't you in training? Sports Camp. Rotator cuff injury. Concussion. Back surgery. Counselor. Ok, campers. Let's show them what you've got! Excellent health insurance card representation!

Tax What?!

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

Bowl Games.

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

'Ring around the rosey ...'

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

'Coach - do you know the definition for 'losing coach''

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

Nebraska Fans

Pardon me, I think you dropped this. Ivy League Football Is Different.

Football laughs as receiver misses pass.

'Excuse me, coach - but are we the hugs or the kisses?'

'I didn't know trampling was a foul.'

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

'That was some hit!'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

"Did you watch the super bowl?"

'Remember, we're in red and yellow - all the rest are bad guys...'

'No, I don't want to hear about it. I do not want to hear about it.'