College Fan Gifts

'Ok then, what's the second most important thing on campus.'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Cheerleaders

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

Coach Prime Cleans House

Tax What?!

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Our coaches are from top college teams. Questions. Why aren't you in training? Sports Camp. Rotator cuff injury. Concussion. Back surgery. Counselor. Ok, campers. Let's show them what you've got! Excellent health insurance card representation!

Med School Mascots.

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

Nebraska Fans

'Coach - do you know the definition for 'losing coach''

Pardon me, I think you dropped this. Ivy League Football Is Different.

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

'I didn't know trampling was a foul.'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

Canine Frat Parties

'No, I don't want to hear about it. I do not want to hear about it.'

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

'Breaker' the mascot disappears from area college.

Visiting Professor Swinely - Pig Latin.

'A 217 in math and a 222 in reading? Really those are fine SAT scores. Fine Scores. You'll make a great addition o our football team, Brad.'