University Fan Gifts

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Teacher and students.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

The Dean of Physics Demonstrates the Basic Premise of Give and Take, And in Particular Take, To Professor Kott.

"School is loverly this time of year."

Canine Frat Parties

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

"You've got an unconditional offer from the University of West Lincs."

'Please continue your education. I like working at this university.'

Not publishing at your university? Is that what they mean when they say they're cracking down on white collar crime?

"Are you sure her voicemail didn't say to 'bring a rose'?"

'Look at yourself! Ever since college, you've been different. You've changed!' Mark was right. His mother HAD changed.

Charles W Eliot

University cone dispenser

Major US universities, public view: ATHLETICS...everything else.