University Fan Pillows

Med School Mascots.

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Teacher and students.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

Canine Frat Parties

Harvard Waiting List

The Dean of Physics Demonstrates the Basic Premise of Give and Take, And in Particular Take, To Professor Kott.

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

"School is loverly this time of year."

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

'Please continue your education. I like working at this university.'

"You've got an unconditional offer from the University of West Lincs."

All Hail the Matriarchy

"Are you sure her voicemail didn't say to 'bring a rose'?"

Not publishing at your university? Is that what they mean when they say they're cracking down on white collar crime?

Branded? Nah, that there's a decal where my kid goes to college. OU.

How to Tell If Your Teacher Is A Leftist

'Look at yourself! Ever since college, you've been different. You've changed!' Mark was right. His mother HAD changed.

University cone dispenser

'It's become a bit of a school tradition.'