University Nostalgia Fan Pillows

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Go team!

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

Med School Mascots.

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

Bell ringer.

The boss is sending me back to school.

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

Prom 2020

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

Harvard Waiting List

"This is a weird frat."

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

There's always one.

Branded? Nah, that there's a decal where my kid goes to college. OU.

"Are you sure her voicemail didn't say to 'bring a rose'?"

'You don't believe that stuff about classroom 213 being haunted, do you?'

'Please continue your education. I like working at this university.'