College Nostalgia Pillows

"I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave"

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

Go team!

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

Bell ringer.

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

Boys at Leisure

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

The boss is sending me back to school.

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

Prom 2020

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

"This is a weird frat."

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."