College Football Fan Gifts

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

'The Gatorade is his.'

"Reports of Penn State orchestrating coach Paterno's exit are premature."

Nebraska-Oklahoma

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Cheerleaders

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

Referee cop.

"Go deep!"

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Football Violence

Coach Prime Cleans House

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

Red Card - Gold Card.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'