College Football Fanatic Gifts

BCS Conference.

"No, when it comes to football, Notre Dame always covers their 'Ta'o.'"

Nebraska Fans

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Football

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Raheem Sterling

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Kenny Dalglish

"All of a dither as per usual!"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Football Crazy strip six

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Beer Order

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'