Football Die-hard Gifts

'I can't afford a season ticket and clothes.'

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

If nobody had invented graphics

Punt Cake

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Bears

Football

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Beer Order