Die-hard Football Fans Gifts

'I want to be awakened every year when football season starts.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

"Goal!"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Archaeologists discover a football

The best goalie in the world!

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

David and Goliath.

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Referee cop.

Football Violence

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"Go deep!"

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.