College Football Die-hard Pillows

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Goal!"

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Cheerleaders

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

Tax What?!

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Our coaches are from top college teams. Questions. Why aren't you in training? Sports Camp. Rotator cuff injury. Concussion. Back surgery. Counselor. Ok, campers. Let's show them what you've got! Excellent health insurance card representation!

Coach Prime Cleans House

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

'Coach - do you know the definition for 'losing coach''

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

Nebraska Fans

'I didn't know trampling was a foul.'

'No, I don't want to hear about it. I do not want to hear about it.'

'Sorry Alf...the telly is bust.'

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

"Sorry, Kevin, but 'March Madness' is not an official school holiday."

'Breaker' the mascot disappears from area college.

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

University of Nebraska sold out for 375 games in a row but now is in danger of ending that due to poor performance.

The home crowd liked to honor the team whenever they scored a point.

Nebraska-Oklahoma

"Your depression isn't caused by anything physical. I suggest you root for another pro sports team."

'A 217 in math and a 222 in reading? Really those are fine SAT scores. Fine Scores. You'll make a great addition o our football team, Brad.'

Forever Football Fan