College Aspirations Gifts

"I'm just saying B's are okay."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

'When I grow up, Grandpa, I want to be just like you...retired!'

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'Junior wrote his first memo today!'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

Gracie goes over to the college recruitment tent at a carnival.

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

Boho Bribes

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

'Well, Gosh...! How did you know I was an incoming freshman...?'

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

"Do you think about life after high school? Like...what are you taking when you go to college?"

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.