College Dreamer Gifts

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Dad, I don't qualify for financial aid, but the dean offered to find you a second job!'

"Now that my college of choice no longer requires the SAT, I'm relying more than ever on grade inflation."

'How will we pay for her college.'

"I'm leaning towards NYU."

College of Arts and Sciences (and a few things to fall back on).

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

'Well, Gosh...! How did you know I was an incoming freshman...?'

'I can go to college after all if you increase my allowance to $50,000.'

'How dare you deny my son's application because of his low SAT scores! Everyone knows that test is culturally biased.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Ain't it great to be back on campus again?"

"I know it's the first week of class, but I want to ask...how many of you are going to college?"

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Isn't Gracie getting a little old for bedtime stories?"

"Do you think about life after high school? Like...what are you taking when you go to college?"

"OK, I've whittled down my list. When I go to college, I'm gonna study either law, biology and engineering...or journalism, medicine, anatomy, political science, forestry, business, math..."

"He doesn't know it's for his college fund. We had it made from bullet proof glass."

'Their parents aren't going to be very happy with one of their predictions. They discovered that when they're ready for college, tuition will be around $18,000 a year.'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

"Why can't you give me a student loan? I'm a student."

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"How nice. The tooth fairy has donated $10 toward your college fund - for your tooth."

"Papi, I'm planning my future. How much money do you have in my college fund?"

'So where do you think the baby should go to college?'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

It's soo competitive! I'll never get into college! Don't worry, honey. You have plenty of time to prepare. Thanks, mom. Wow! Look at the tuition hikes and financial aid cuts. Don't worry. You have plenty of time to prepare. True. I deposited $10 just the other week.

We know being raised by wolves isn't ideal, but think of the amazing essay you'll have on your college application!

"Your mother and I have an idea for you college savings plan - how about taking some time off and enrolling in college at the age of sixty-five?"

"I'm too busy going to college to study."

The fate of the emigrant

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.