University Dreamer Gifts

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Mum, Dad, I've decided to go to University. I want to party for 5 years before I start work"

'You're never going to follow me in my trade, Son - you may as well go to university.'

"I'm leaning towards NYU."

Universidad

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"When you get to Uni be sure to let that hair down responsibly."

"You've been accepted by Harvard, but turned down by eight potential roommates."

The fate of the emigrant

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Make a lot of money."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Continuing education.

Exam

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."