Higher Education Dreamer Gifts

'I never finished college, but the $60,000 my parents spent on my education should count for something.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Make a lot of money."

Continuing education.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Exam

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

Good luck in your A Levels.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."