College Dreamers Gifts

"This won't be easy, given your grades. You'll need to find someone even dumber than you to co-sign."

'It's depressing to know your future depends on your father's investments.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The fate of the emigrant

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Make a lot of money."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Continuing education.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Exam

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

Good luck in your A Levels.

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"