College Admission Dreamer Gifts

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Make a lot of money."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Continuing education.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Exam

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

Bribes for Jabs

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

Good luck in your A Levels.

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'