Prestigious University Dreamer Gifts

"I want to leave my body to Harvard. It's the only way I'll ever get in."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Make a lot of money."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Continuing education.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Exam

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

Good luck in your A Levels.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.