Collections Manager Gifts

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'

'Our first and only painting cost us $3.5 million!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

The Missing Sock Returns

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Board Game Hunter

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'And that,and that,and that...'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

"You have ice water in your veins."

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Girl holding money.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

"I wonder what this was for."

Delinquent Accounts - Day Late, Dollar Short.

'How old is this vase?'

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Welcome. National Association of People Padding their Resumes with National Associations. And I think you'll agree, our pointless seminars have some really great titles this year!

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."