Collections Manager T-Shirts

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'

'Our first and only painting cost us $3.5 million!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

Girl holding money.

"You have ice water in your veins."

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

Delinquent Accounts - Day Late, Dollar Short.

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'How old is this vase?'

My own museum.

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'