Catalog Collector Gifts

"Oh, how thoughtful! You brought the Sears catalog with you!"

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

The Dorrie Decimal System

The Working Woman's Magazine

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'A is for Arse.'

Waiting Room Quarterly

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Alien Beauty Magazine

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"I have an app for that."

Prayboy

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'And that,and that,and that...'

Home Sweet Second Home.

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

You trip on it, you buy it.

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.