Catalog Collector Pillows

"Oh, how thoughtful! You brought the Sears catalog with you!"

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

The Dorrie Decimal System

The Working Woman's Magazine

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'A is for Arse.'

Waiting Room Quarterly

"Number 2. Step forward please."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"I have an app for that."

Alien Beauty Magazine

Prayboy

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'And that,and that,and that...'

Home Sweet Second Home.

You trip on it, you buy it.

On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.