Merchandise Collector Pillows

Star Trek: The Ashtray

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"We offer video games, snacks, t-shirts, coffee mugs, beer and wine. Oh, and we also we have a movie."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

Posh Easter Egg

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'How old is this vase?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Replica Football Merchandise

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers