Material Goods Collectors Pillows

"C'mon, would it really be heaven if you couldn't bring it with you?"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

Posh Easter Egg

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

Replica Football Merchandise

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

"Don't let the Leave It To Beaver lunchbox fool you...that new manager is TOUGH!"

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Outlaw Quilting Bees

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"If, in the future, you're unclear about what I need you to gather when I say nuts ..."

"I think you might need a few more tools."

Secateurs/Non-Secateurs.

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

"Harrison, you fail to comprehend the meaning of cursive writing."

You kids are lucky. The first day back to school is full of promise! West Fester. I say it's just full!

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

"Sometimes I feel like Stone Age guy in Bronze Age World."