Textile Collector Pillows

'Mummy, why is lace so expensive when it is mainly holes?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

Dog wears t-shirt: 'The Duck Stops Here'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

The Death of the Blues

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

I e-bay t-shirt.

'Music & Gym'

'Would you like to dance?' Woman has 'No' written on her t-shirt. Guy has 'Why not?'.

I'm with, wait, don't tell me. Starts with an S, right?

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

I'm Stupid (Damn Autocorrect)

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"