Textile Collector Gifts

'Mummy, why is lace so expensive when it is mainly holes?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Elvis Presley

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Dog wears t-shirt: 'The Duck Stops Here'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

The Death of the Blues

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

Jeff Beck.

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Humans are 100% recyclable.

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

Ozzy Osbourne

'Music & Gym'

'Would you like to dance?' Woman has 'No' written on her t-shirt. Guy has 'Why not?'.

Art Garfunkel.

I e-bay t-shirt.

I'm Stupid (Damn Autocorrect)

Neil Young

I'm with, wait, don't tell me. Starts with an S, right?

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."