Merchandise Collector Gifts

Star Trek: The Ashtray

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

Well, shoot. If we lose, what are we going to do with all this merch we had printed up? 1549 Regional Champs.

"We offer video games, snacks, t-shirts, coffee mugs, beer and wine. Oh, and we also we have a movie."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Posh Easter Egg

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'How old is this vase?'

Replica Football Merchandise

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'