Cataloger Gifts

The Dorrie Decimal System

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'And that,and that,and that...'

Appointments and Disappointments

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Stranger in Strange Land's End Catalog

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

"He can barely remember where he put his backpack, but he's got everything memorized in that holiday toy catalog."

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

'What terrible pre-Christmas gift catalogue have you got hold of now?'

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

Chimp with mail-order anthill.

While you're down there, Hon, see if we got the Belle Boudoir catalog.

'Let's face it - home shopping catalogues are marketed at old people...' - '...but with a bit of lateral thinking they could easily target busy young professionals.' - 'These 'bathing wipes', for example, mean I can now wash my lower half on the way to wo

'I just love mail order catalogues. It's so much easier to eat delivery people than to chase gazelle.'

Library has a palindrome book section organized palindromically.

'Looks like I have a passionate moment open on the 26th. Should I schedule you?'

'I ordered it from the catalog.'

"These are my leather-bound Hammacher Schlemmer catalogues."

'You're in luck. It comes in Large, Extra Large and Bowl Full Of Jelly.'

Gracie gets excited reading a toy catalogue when she realizes the CEO is a Latina.

"Ambitions... to do everything by the book"

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

'Bit under the weather Mildred? Better pick a card from stock and go home.'

"Oh, how thoughtful! You brought the Sears catalog with you!"

Who wants to suggest our next book? This month is busy. Ditto. How about a poetry collection? Better yet?

'An American Vignette Number 18' Sears catalogue 1948

"Pick any three items and they're yours"

The Real Truth Why Adam and Eve Left the Garden of Eden

'Some achieve fame. I've achieved a stack of catalogs full of sticky notes.'

"We're drawing down our inventory since it can't seem to tear itself away."